Matthew 5:27-30

Adultery & Lusting

²⁷ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’^{[a] 28} But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ²⁹ If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Exodus 20:14 says that it is wrong to have sex with someone other than his/her spouse. But Jesus said even the desire to have sex with someone other than your spouse is adultery, a sin. No only is the act wrong, but the thought or intention is wrong too. We must be faithful to our spouses not just with our bodies but also with our minds. Fantasies or repeat fascinations or thoughts about someone other than your spouse is a sin.

Yesterday, I heard a pastor say that our thoughts are the father to our actions. Every sinful action starts in the mind. Whatever we focus on, dwell on or expose our minds on, is the gateway to putting a certain action in place. If we correct our sinful thoughts, we can prevent sinful action.

Be careful with social media. Affairs of the mind can start very easily on Facebook or other social media, especially with old boy friends or old girl friends reaching out in so called innocence to “stay in touch.” Curiosity really does kill the cat. Are we curious about people from the past? What do they look like now? This could bring up old emotions or memories from the past. Even if browsing online doesn’t lead to a physical encounter, it can cause a spiritual disconnect with your spouse.

Be careful having friends of the opposite sex, especially avoid venting to them about your marriage issues. It’s important for us to keep a tab on the emotional and sexual needs of our spouses. There are benefits to bringing newness with fun adventures and date night. We can’t lose our identities in our children, which is so easy to do. If you are feeling a disconnect, figure out how to reconnect. PRAY about it too.

BTW: I need to take some of my own advice in this area, for sure. Time to re-energize.

I’m sure that all of us have at one point or another, have had a lustful thought . We must guard our ears, eyes and hearts from anything that causes our thoughts to stray sexually, that includes avoiding sexual movies, magazines, avoiding people we think are attractive and staying off social media pages of old flames or cuties.

Scriptures to Consider

“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Cor 6:18)

“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matt 19:8-9)

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4.

18 A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 19Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’” Luke 18: 18-20

“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

Survey done by Trustify on Infidelity Statistics: (200 surveyed)

• 55% of male respondents cheated on spouse with five or more people
• 50% of our female respondents admitted to cheating with one person
• 32% of the men met the person they cheated with online ( social media or a dating service)
• 22% of the women met the person cheated with in social setting (bar, party) or had a previous romantic connection to that person
• 23% of the men said the leading cause of the affair was due to a lack of sexual satisfaction
• 28% of the women said the cause of the affair was due to a lack of emotional satisfaction

Reflection & Action

1. Have you fixated on anyone other than your spouse? Had a desire, attraction or fascination?
2. Have you spent too much time on an old flames social media page?
3. Have you vented to the opposite sex about your marriage?
4. Do you speak negatively about your spouse in public?
5. Have you cut yourself off emotionally or sexually from your spouse?
6. Have you had an emotional or physical affair?
7. Repent of all forms of lust or spiritual adultery. Then, eliminate all temptations.
8. Think of A Way to Spice up Your Marriage. Write down ideas. Put 1 into action this week.
9. Write down 5 things you love about your spouse. Share it with them, maybe in a love note.