Wanting More.

It hasn’t been too long ago that I went on a church tour in my area. My family would try church after church. Several Holy Spirit and divine appointments happened at the various churches. I will probably share a few others on later blogs. My heart was aching for His presence. I wasn’t wanting the perfect speaker or perfect message, I wanted to have an experience, a feeling, a spiritual encounter with the creator.

At each church I visited, I would quietly in my mind whisper. ” Are you here Abba Daddy? ” There is no doubt that I got something out of each message and felt love from the people at the various churches, at varying degrees. Some of the churches I felt more of him than at others.

As I’ve been in deep study of the word and praying for HIS truth, there has been an awakening at how many lies have crept into the way we worship and the messages that are being shared from the pulpit. But each church has some truth and feeding the flock on some level, but one thing that I really did not want to compromise in a church was that I wanted to visit churches that believe in His Power, Believe that Healing & Miracles can supernaturally occur today. And I’m not talking about medicine miracles or doctors being used. I’m talking about believing that God is enough, that his Power is Real and Surreal!

So one weekend, we oddly walked into a new church feeling a little exposed like new kids at school. The church was small enough they knew we were visitors. As I sat down, I heard a small whisper in my thoughts, ” Someone is going to approach you. ” I remember scanning the room looking for someone staring at me or overly smiling, wondering if this was my own strange thought or if this was the holy spirit.

At one point, they asked us to move over to the center, as the pews were not all filled. I walked in first to our new row, deep into the row, then Steve, then the kids near the aisle. If I needed to use the bathroom or leave for some reason, I would have made a little disturbance to leave as I was deeply tucked into my row. While we were worshipping, I noticed an attractive elderly man with a polished suit, sliding down the full aisle past the kids, past my husband and he stopped right in front of me.

He said, ” I have never done this in my life. I typically never approach someone’s wife without first introducing myself to their husband. But during prayer and worship, the Holy Spirit pressed so hard on my heart that I was to approach you, that you are searching for something. If you had left the church and I did not say something It would have bothered me all week.”

He said, ” Are you looking for something? Is something on your heart?”

Stunned I don’t remember my response, but I felt the overwhelming PRESENCE, Confirmation of God at that moment. I felt His love for me, letting me know loudly that HE’s there. He’s always there, yet he knew I wanted to experience Him.

The handsome Grandpa Elder, led me up to the front and they put their hands on me. Steve was unsure what was going on but as always, he followed behind me to the front with his hand on my back. He’s a big guy, broad shoulders, like a protector and angel of sorts, he walked behind me in uncertainty but supportive to the front of all the congregation.

When I got to the front, several people laid hands on me and prayed . Then the older elder said, “I think you are supposed to pray for me.”

I began to pray boldly as I do, and out of my mouth of course was some Hebrew sounding words like Yeshua Hamashiach and Yod-Hey-Vav-Hey ( God’s name in Hebrew) . In this Spirit filled church, I did not hold back to speak in my heavenly language, knowing they would understand. My heavenly language oddly sounds most of the time like Middle Eastern with a Persian flare. At some point, I’ll share how as one raised Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian how on earth I even started talking in tongues. But that’s for a different blog.

When I finished praying for this distinguished Papa, ” He said wow, that was beautiful. Where did you learn to speak using those Jewish words? That was powerful. Are you Jewish?”

I’m not sure what my response was because I was still up in the front of the church, starting to think about going back to my chair so the sermon could start, feeling a little like a fish out of water but still basking in this divine “outer of body” experience.

As the service was ending, I went to shake my friends hand. I told him, ” Before the service I heard an internally whisper telling me that someone was going to approach me. ”

He just looked at me in amazement. I believe that the Holy Spirit hand picked him to be the messenger. I also believe the man needed a spiritual encounter with God too, some possible reassurance.

What I do know is that church is not about routine. It’s not about hearing a few bible scriptures and a lesson. We have been chained in our thinking. Maybe we feel insecure when we see people raising their hands, dancing, praying out loud, crying. But God wants us to unleash and unravel in our desire for Him. All inhibitions laid aside, all insecurities about people watching or judging gone, He wants us to Soak in Him.

There is so much more for us. I ache at times, cry at times wanting to feel Him, wanting to Hug Yeshua. I want to see Him. I want to hear him. I miss Him. My Spirit knows what I’m missing, what I’m longing for in the peace, love and serenity of his Full presence. Yes He’s here with us. Yes He never leaves us. But I desire the fullness like we had as we walked in the Garden. I want to sit under a tree, throw rock in the rive and sit Indian Style relishing in every word that comes from his lips. I want to lean back on his chest, in total comfort and security. I want tangible experiences. We need to hurt for him and press in. Press in with eyes shut, singing, praising, praying and silently reflecting on His love. Imagine what it will be like when we finally our reconnected face to face.

So this week, next week….make it your mission to SEEK MORE!

Few Ideas that Worked For Me:

1. After putting the kids on the bus, I would sit with the radio off in the car alone until the sun came up. I would close my eyes and pray for every person that is struggling and sick. Then, I would speak in my heavenly language for a long time. Then, I would start to sing and praise. Sometimes this would be for 30 minutes or more. When I would get out of the car, I had a “drunk” feeling, almost not sure footed. Is this what it means to be “drunk in the spirit? ” Or was I not breathing right during singing to him ( making up my own words) . Regardless, what a beautiful way to start your day.
2. I had heard if you sing psalms that something powerful happens. So I thought why don’t I sing to YHWH everything I’m thankful for and sing my prayers for other people. So in the morning, I would sing in thanksgiving in advance for him healing: Dawn, Bill, Shannon, Shane, Sunshine, Christy, Tracy, Melissa, Ash and the list goes on. I decided that I would also do this at night. So I ran the bath water in the jacuzzi and sang my prayers with my eyes up. What’s amazing is in a blink of an eye you have been worshipping and praying and thanking for an hours. Same thing, when I got out of the tub I felt “drunk.”
3. Hold your Spouses hand or lay quietly in your bed alone before you rise or sleep….Praise, pray and if you have been given tongues speak. I have done this with my husband just listening a few times. Each time I feel something powerful enter the room, a spiritual feeling, aware of the Angelic or Holy Spirit. When I open my eyes, it’s an outer body type experience. I have done this for up to an hour.

I challenge you this week to press in for an experience, go deeper….Feel His Presence. Make a longer appointment to Praise, Worship, Thank, Sing, Pray by yourself….It can be outside, in a prayer room, laying down, in the tub….All I know is we need MORE. He loves it when you stay with Him longer! He wants this personal encounter more than you do.