11th Commandment: Love your enemies Matthew 5:44

One of the most difficult verses in the Bible is Matthew 5:44: “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” This can be hard advice to take, but it comes straight from the mouth of Yahshua. 

We all have people that get under our skin, reject us, abandon us or are just plain mean. Most of us do not have flat out enemies but in our hearts we might despise, dislike or  we could be harboring some form of resentment.  For me, there are people who have said mean things or have talked behind my back. I can at times be too sensitive. I have found out that children of alcoholics tend to hyper-analyze things, which can make them more sensitive to any form of rejection or disapproval. Two characteristics of children of alcohol  is  over-reactivity, and constant approval-seeking. This can make is super difficult when it appears you are being attacked, criticized or rejected on some level.  Your so called enemy list can grow quickly, because children of alcohol tend to be more sensitive. 

When my dad was not in my life, and we had an eleven year separation, I found it very difficult, even felt hypocritical to pray for him. I had a burning anger in my heart for him, an anger that was founded on my feeling of abandonment and rejection. As I got closer to God, I realized that this part of me had to go. As I read the words on the bible, I tried to obey this commandment. I would pray, ” God, I pray for my Dad. I hope that you can change the brokenness in both of us.” It was hard to pray because of the emotions that were tied to the disappointment. Sometimes I would feel like a liar as I prayed. I would pray things I didn’t feel in my heart at all. But something amazing happened, each time I prayed for Dad, my spirit felt lighter and lighter. Slowly the anger softened and when he asked to meet, 11 years after our fight, I said, “yes.” Largely, I said yes because I did not want to disappoint my heavenly Father. I knew from reading the bible that praying for the “enemy” and forgiving were not negotiable. 

The other thing that stands out in my mind when it comes to praying for the enemy is a woman who spoke ill of me, without just. Just cruel, hurtful words that poked the part of my spirit that responds negatively to any kind of rejection. I was nice to her and friendly, always seeking approval. Yet, behind my back she said hateful things. So when I found out the words, I completely unplugged from the situation, removed her from our lives. Recently, we were given insight into her personal situation. I realized that God was prompting me to pray for her children. I had been verbally lashed once behind my back, and it bothered me deeply, but her children were being emotionally abused daily. So my prayers now are much easier. I had been too self-focused. I now pray for the children’s protection and for her character to be refined in the son’s image, for her to be more loving to her children.  I also pray that anyone that is causing harm to the children would either have a loving change or be removed all together. 

I need to pray for the words, ” Forgive them they know not what they do” to echo in my mind when I feel attacked, rejected or criticized. I need to pray that words roll off my back like water on the feathers of a duck. Then, I need to ask the holy spirit to prompt me for prayer when I feel annoyed. What if every time someone rubbed me the wrong way, I made a hit list? Not a hit list in the sense of what you’re thinking but a pray for the enemy list. This could be a sibling that ticks you off, a parent, a boss, a co-worker, a family member, a stranger and the list goes on. Perhaps, we need to be more deliberate in our prayers for our so called enemies. Even if it is a painful prayer that seems like a hypocritical prayer, we do it anyway. After all, Jesus ordered us to love our enemies and pray for them. 

Reflection

1. Has someone ticked you off? Do you have any unforgiveness, resentment towards someone? 
2. Pray that God would bring to mind anyone that you need to pray for that you consider an enemy. 
3. Get a piece of paper, write: Pray for My Enemies on the top. Then, make a list out the people.  Ask Jesus to come into your situation or into the hearts of the one that hurt you or into your own heart.