Big Mess of It by Shea Brewer

This week while boiling water for Braxton’s spinach stuffed noodles, I asked Brax to help me clean up some Mother’s Day crafts I had been doing in the kitchen. She grabbed a box that I have that resembles a fishing box. There are many little sections within the plastic box and inside each little area of the box are different things. In one section, tiny beads, another section rhinestones, another section little shells and the list goes on. It’s a box of a million little bitty craft items.

I wasn’t paying attention to what she was cleaning up. I was busy watching water, waiting for a boil, when all of a sudden, I heard a loud crash and cry. I looked down the hallway towards our laundry room and a million beads and trinkets were scattered all over the laundry room. From door to door and under the washing machine and dryer, all scrambled not organized or categorized the bead mess scattered. All I could do is scream out, “No, No, No.” I could not think of a worse mess to clean up, a more tedious or time-consuming task. We spilled marbles once and that was not fun but at least they were all the same items. This was a natural disaster of sorts!

My initial reaction exacerbated her fit of tears as she mourned her mistake. After I calmed down, I told her that I appreciated her helping me clean up the crafts and that it was only a mistake. I bent down and started to help her sort through the disarray putting clothes pins in one section, jewelry pieces in another, beads in another, thinking that if I started the organization process that this would help calm her down and speed along the clean-up process.

She was still crying and stressed out, knowing that cleaning up this mess would take forever by herself. So, we called in support. I closed the laundry room door and called out for Slade to come down from his room. I quietly whispered to him. I said, “Slade, we’ve had a little bit of a family disaster. I need you to take off your typical brother response and be kind and helpful. I need you not to blame or complain. I need you to quietly help your sister pick up her mess. She’s already upset about her mess. She really only needs you to quietly help and support her. Can you do this? ”

” What did she do mom? What did she do? ”

I explained only to hear groans from him. But as he got closer to the door, I could tell he started to feel sympathy instead of thinking about how her mistake was affecting him. 

Of course, when he saw the mess all over the floor, he couldn’t help but throw out a comment or two, but for him that was mild. He quickly quieted remembering my help speech.  We all worked together as a family helping her.

The atmosphere changed as soon as Slade and I started assisting. Braxton calmed down and a peace came over her. It took family support, quiet helpful support, non-judgmental roll up your sleeves support to help her out of the mess she made.

When Slade came to help with just quiet brotherly love, no judgment, Braxton changed, she recovered so much more quickly. It waved over me that all of us make terrible mistakes and messes at times. But if we have friends, support groups and family that offer unconditional non-judgmental love and help, then we can pick up the pieces so much faster.

If we have over-reacting judgmental groaning family members, they only add fuel to the fire. Without Christ like support and grace, the clean-up and recovery process are far longer and more painful.

We must show love to others because we all goof up at times. Yes, we might initially lash out with a big NOOOOOO like I did, but we quickly need to reassure and support without complaining or judging. It’s our job to show grace and help with all, especially people who are struggling or have made big mistakes. Our love or reaction could navigate the healing process either positively or negatively. Our words or actions are powerful.

Spiritual Question: Do you have a friend or family member that made a big mess out of there life or situation? How have you supported them through your actions? Do you judge and criticize or highlight their mistakes or do you show grace, love and support? Remember, positive actions and encouraging words activate healing. 

Declaration: I will be compassionate to mankind and animals. I will lead with patience and love with all people, not measuring or judging sins of others. 

Scriptures: 

Galatians 6: 2  “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”