Effected or Affecting?

 I consider myself to be a resilient person who is almost always friendly, even when life may not be so smooth.

In fact, when I was in college my best friend’s roommate was a depressed girl; that came from a broken home resulting in a strained relationship with her Dad. She almost never smiled, tried to control others, talked down to friends and her moodiness was cancerous. One night at a party on UT campus, her tough walls were down and with tears in her eyes, she asked,   “Why are you always so happy?”

I had known this girl since kindergarten, and even at 5 years old I can remember feeling bad in her presence. This mean demeanor went into to junior high which caused most of the kids to reject her and refuse to be friends with her; she was just too mean.

Recently at a girl’s weekend one of my old high school friends reminded me of something I had forgotten. She asked, “Do you remember when none of us wanted to be friends with her in junior high, and you called a meeting with all the girls. You said that she was sad and that we needed to be nice to her and pray for her.” I had no recollection of doing this. But I thought that was sure nice  of me. Even though everyone decided that day to be friends with her, her sadness masked with moodiness, rudeness continued through high school and into college.

Despite my graciousness as a junior high kid, one of my faults today is that I have very little tolerance for people who are moody without explanation, and who are not friendly.

What’s particularly unsettling is when you know each other, and they pass by as if they don’t know you at all or when I say, “Hi” with a smile and don’t get anything back. Even the moody responses, the forced “hellos” are frustrating to me.

Many times, I’ve silently prayed for passerby’s not knowing what they might be going through behind the scenes.  Other times I’m not so gracious finding myself getting disappointed in people. Other times, I’m over the top Friendly thinking that perhaps my excessive friendliness will be contagious.  

Then there is the more obnoxious side of me who wants to act out the airplane skit from Saturday night live where the flight attendants stand at the front of the plane with a cheesy grin saying, “This is me, and this is you. Bye. Bye.“ 

Why can’t people be nicer?

How about when you let someone into the lane of traffic? Do you get a wave of thank you? How about when someone walks in front of your car to go into a store?  Do they slightly wave to say thanks for letting them cross your path?

 I’ve seen tons of people who don’t say thank you when you hold the door open for them. One afternoon at the local Baptist mother’s day out program, I held the door open for no less than 12 kids and 4 moms.  It shocked me that not one of the Moms wanted to demonstrate politeness to their children. Not one of them smiled or said, “thank you.”  Obviously disappointed,  I thought, “Come on ladies, say thank you, smile or something, we’re at a church!”

Recently, a bunch of men met at a local boy scouts meeting.  One of my friends husband said he was snubbed by someone that he has met several times; in fact the man was in a Christian group with him. The guy passed him several times and never said a word.

When things like this happen, you started thinking, could it be possible that he didn’t recognize me? Did I do something wrong?  You think of a million reasons why they didn’t acknowledge. For me, I remember people after the first meeting; never forget a face, maybe a name, but never a face. So it baffles me why so many don’t acknowledge or at least crack a half smile.  

Sometimes in life it seems like someone let the negative flood gate open. For me, when this happens, I retreat. I try to protect myself and my spirit from the “negative nellies of the world.”  I pray more, read the bible more and go to church, fighting as hard as I can to extinguish the negative.

Bottom line is we can’t allow situations and people take to take our joy.

We have a choice and our choice is not to be effected by the negative but to affect others by “walking as children of light.”

As Christians, we must let the Jesus within us shine brightly. That means never holding back our friendliness because we can anticipate a response or lack of from someone else. Then, as we walk away instead of judging or criticizing for their lack enthusiasm, we silently pray for them. After all, it’s not about us. It’s something their battling. Trust me; this one is a tough one for me. But God is working on me!

Despite the many life dramas that come up, we must work at radiating positive energy. People are watching so let them see Him in you. Living in Light means deliberating choosing thoughts and actions that demonstrate: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness.

When you’re feeling the negative cloud moving in, pray that God’s white light protect you, otherwise the darkness of the world could begin to cover you. Digging out of that can be super tough.

I do believe that sometimes you have to protect yourself from the toxic, remove yourself from direct contact with people and situations.  Pray from afar, show love in other ways and let God transform them.

If you can’t decide if something or someone is right for you, listen to your gut instinct.  If your gut hurts or you are overthinking something; that probably means God is trying to tell you something. When I’ve ignored red flags in my life, it has always comes back to bite me.  Recently, my girlfriend said to me if something is right for you; it’s usually a pretty easy decision. I believe this is true in many cases.

This month, I’m challenging myself to only think, respond and say positive things.Take 2 or 3 seconds before doing or saying anything, think “only positive, only loving.”  Then, respond. If I slip up, which I will because I’m human; I’m going to back up, apologize and re-respond. If I have a negative thought, I’m going to replace it with something positive.

Let’s challenge ourselves this week to see, think and respond to everyone and every situation in a “positive” way.

Remember, we can’t control anything, especially others, but we can control ourselves and our outlook and how we respond. 

I’ve often thought about her question to me that night in college as her tough exterior was peeled back, she asked:   “Why are you always so happy? You always seem to have a smile on your face.”

The answer is:  I choose to be happy despite the things I’ve been through.  God has a purpose for all my pains; that is to help others and share how my faith got me through. 

So make happiness a choice, work on your personal growth and resist the absorption of negative energy.

Scriptures for the Day:

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Ephesians 5:8 ESV For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light

Galatians 5:22 ESV But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Thoughts:

How can having a positive attitude affect your life and others?

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